Stephanie Raquel  —  November 14, 2013 — Leave a comment


Photo taken at Gettysburg National Park. (c) 2013 Stephanie Raquel.

Photo taken at Gettysburg National Park. (c) 2013 Stephanie Raquel.


Oh, this quote totally tugs at my heart.

“I have been drive many times upon my knees by the overwhelming conviction that I had no where else to go.”

Honest Abe was being gut-level honest when he said that.

So often my life feels overwhelming, and I fall to my knees in total surrender to God.  Even if it’s not a physical genuflect, in my heart that’s where I’ve gone.

This week we’re covering Ch. 7 of Renee Swope‘s book,  A Confident Heart in our Proverbs 31 Online Bible Study. It’s not an “easy” chapter to digest, as the title suggests: When Doubt Whispers “I’m Such a Failure”.

I’m thankful that decades ago, I did the hard heart-work of examining my own fear of failure … so at least I know I have great worth apart from my performance.  Intellectually, at least, I know God sees me through the lens of Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross.  He sees me as blameless and perfect and holy, because that’s who Jesus is.

But that 18-inch journey from the head to the heart is laden with obstacles.  Because those feelings of failure, especially with family, fitness and friendships, tend to surface far too often.  And my heart aches in the meantime.

My daughter, whose love language is quantity time, is asking for a special date with me and my schedule is packed.  Ugh.  I’m so sorry, sweetheart.  I really value you and want you to know that.  Please forgive me!

A friend calls whose marriage is crumbling and I’m at a loss for what to say.  I feel like such a failure for not keeping in touch better.  Please don’t hate me.

My attempts at training for a race spiral downward and I skip it altogether, or don’t finish nearly as well as I would have liked.  C’mon!  Why can’t I get this right??

A comment I made at church is taken out of context and feelings are hurt.  Oh dear goodness, what in the world am I doing trying to serve You, Lord, when I don’t always do it well.  Why do I feel like such a wreck sometimes?

Mercifully, God calls me back.  He tells me, “My child, remember who sists here on my throne.  You don’t have to do ANYTHING.  Remember what I DID on your behalf.  So quit playing God, and just surrender it all to me. Remember that verse from Romans 8:1, ‘There is now NO condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus?’  That means you.  Let the Holy Spirit convict you where there’s recurring sin, sure.  But don’t let the enemy condemn you where your good intentions fall short.”

Oh sweet Jesus, thank you.

Because of your grace, I can lay down the pride, the shame, the guilt, the game.

And just … surrender.


That’s the essence of this song by 1211, below, written to minister to broken people everywhere.  And it completely ministers to me!  I hope it will encourage your heart as well.

Disclosure:  As I looked for this version sung by Monique French online initially I couldn’t find it, so I hastily threw together this video storyboard.  If it looks completely amateur, that’s because it is!  But in the interest of not “feeling like a failure” I left it up on YouTube anyway.  =)

Here are the lyrics:

(Written by Ramy Antoun, Lauren Tyler and Jacob Hildebrand)

We want to feel the sunlight on our face
Discover a love that will never change
Father, we surrender all to You

We lift up our voices and cry out for truth
Your grace, my life is now renewed
Father, we surrender all to you

We surrender
We surrender
We surrender all

Lord, we surrender
Yes we surrender
We surrender all


We lay down our pride
We lay down our fear
We lay down our lives
God, we lay it down
We lay down our pain
Surrender all our shame
In Your Name, We pray
‘Cause God, You laid it down
So we will lay it down and

We surrender
We surrender
We surrender all

We surrender
We surrender
We surrender all

All of our pain
And all of our shame
Lord, take it all
We give it all to You
We surrender it all

Oh, Lord, take it All
We surrender
Right here, right now
We surrender it all
“Surrender” from “Unplugged: The Baptism” performed by 1211, with Monique French on lead vocals.

Held during a baptism service at Gateway Church in Austin, Texas.
Prayer by Arts/Downtown Grow Pastor Ramy Antoun.  (Learn more at



Stephanie Raquel


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